Category: Ideas

Inclusion is a bit more than dancing at a party.

by Carjamin Scott on October 17, 2019 at 3:30 p.m. CST

Have you heard the quote, “Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusion is being asked to dance?” While it seems forward thinking, it still does not reflect what is needed to be truly inclusive.

Let me be transparent for a moment with you. I am a wife, a mom, and I do a ton of community service work. And I do not even want to discuss the demands of my job. My time is limited; so, I do not allow myself to waste it in spaces and places where I cannot thrive.

Before I address the diversity dance quote, here is the criteria that I consider before deciding to attend any party.

1. Who else is going?

Listen, I need to have some people at the party that I can vibe with. I am not going to a party to schmooze the entire time. That’s not a party, that’s a networking event. Plus, I need to know who else is there so I can truly let my hair down to dance, laugh, and have a good time.

2. Where is the party?

Sorry, but I am not going to a party over 15 minutes away from my house. If it is that far away and I have to Uber home, I will not be happy. And, if I am going to a party without a designated driver, it’s likely that I’ll have to Uber. So again, sorry but that’s just too far for me.

3. What is the attire?

I might consider buying something new if the party has a particular theme but I really do not want to have to go through the trouble of that. Don’t waste my or your time inviting me to your color coded parties.

4. What time is the party?

If it starts at 8, I’ll be there about 9:30. That’s just the truth. I have to be on time all day. I have to be on time to pick up my kids, to get to work, to have dinner ready, etc. I do not want to have to be on time for a party.

5. Who is hosting the party?

This should have been the first question on the list. I am not going to your party if it’s going to be stuffy, with one bad genre of music, and corny games. I like parties with all kinds of music, where people do not have to drink to tolerate each other, with good food, and great people.

Thanks for letting me vent to you about that. Any-who, here is the story I really wanted to share:

I thrive in spaces where I feel included, valued, and I where I can offer all of my talents. I love to meet new people and create relationships.

A recruiter reached out to me the other day and asked, “What is something that isn’t on your resume that you think we should know about you?” I replied, “Do I have your permission to be clear and transparent while answering your question?” He said, “Yes, of course, based on the qualifications of this role, you clearly exceed what we are looking for so we really want to know if you are going to fit in with the culture here.”

I said, “Ok, well I was raised on the Southside of Chicago. My mother is a black woman, my father was an immigrant who migrated from Manila, Philippines. I am proud of who I am. In my personal time, I go back to the community that I am from and educate them in an effort to lift as I climb. I do not think that my story is that unique. I think that we are all proud of who we are and where we come from. I also think that we all want to lift as we climb somehow.

I am not sharing this with you for pity and I won’t need anything extra from your company to be successful. I have nearly two decades of experience and a terminal degree. I just want to make sure that I can bring my whole-self to your organization without having to forget where I came from to advance and feel included. I will get the job done. I will likely exceed your expectations.

My track record speaks for itself, my awards have proven my abilities, and my recommendations are credible. However, if your culture will require me to dim who I am or no longer allow me to lift as I climb then I am not the right fit there. I am passionate, culturally competent, resilient, strategic, and creative. I would love to add my skillset to the culture of your organization.

Let me be clear, if you invite me to your party, I will dance; but, I will eventually want to be involved with the party host committee.”

He says he is going to send my information to the hiring manager. 

Back to the quote, “Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusion is being asked to dance.” When you ask me to dance, I will not dance for you. I’m expecting you to dance with me and that’s only if we like the song that’s playing.

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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie, instagram @carjiescott.

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The 5 cries for help and healing.

by Carjamin Scott on July 24, 2019 at 7:30 a.m. CST

There is nothing wrong with a good cry. I’ve always been a crier. Not a cry baby but a crier. The difference between a crier and a cry baby is cry babies don’t want their cries solved. I used to be ashamed of crying, especially in front of others. But I’m learning that it’s necessary to show emotion.

According to Medical News Today, crying helps to relieve your pain and the pain of others around you. Research has found that, “In addition to being self-soothing, shedding emotional tears release chemicals that make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain.”

I appreciate fellow criers because it takes courage to be our authentic selves. We have a sense of empathy that is demonstrated through our tears. I’ve summarized my five cries for help and healing.

1. Empathy Cry

When I was younger, I would cry because I wanted the people around me to feel the sadness I felt. I think children have perfected this cry. It’s how they get our attention and beg us to get them what they need.

2. Passion Cry

When people ask me my true motivation for what I want out of life I tend to develop tears in my eyes. This is usually a simple cry. A glass of water or a few blinks can clear this cry up. This is one of the cries I used to be ashamed of and would try to hold in. I would apologize to others for it. Nowadays, I just let it happen and thank people for allowing me to share myself with them.

3. Gratitude Cry

I had one of these recently. It was over something that I felt I had no control over. This cry is a feel good cry, a thankful cry. This is probably my favorite cry because, as a believer, I feel God’s presence upon me during this cry. I know God has true control over everything and the cry is how I worship the goodness of the Lord. I’m at peace during this cry and I feel that like I’ve surrendered to the situation that caused the cry.

4. Angry Cry

This is a cry because I’m tired of something occurring that I can’t fix. I have this cry when I’m triggered about something. It could be a news story, or something that happened with my kids, or just someone that ruined my day. I have this cry the least of them all and it’s a short cry. It helps me to clear my thoughts before I act.

5. No Tears Cry

This is the cry when I just want help and I’m full of emotion but no tears seem to flow. It’s the cry that makes me wonder if I’ve lost all emotion towards a situation. I used to have a cry type for nearly everything and recently I’ve started having the no tears cry. This is the sick and tired of being sick and tired cry. It’s the, I’m tired of saying and doing the same things over and over without any results in sight cry.

No matter what you are crying over or crying from, understand that you are not alone. With the political climate, relationships we are in, and responsibilities we have, it’s ok to cry every now and then.

This post is in support of Therafund, helping individuals pay for mental health therapy.

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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie, instagram @carjiescott, and facebook at Dr. Carjie Scott.

This is why I volunteer with The Equity Alliance

by Carjamin Scott on June 25, 2019 at 9:00 p.m. CST

My Equity Alliance story is simple. It’s my responsibility to give back to the community I came from. I was looking to make an impact with an organization that valued my talents, allowed me to bring my whole self, and was led by Black women. I wanted to feel valued and appreciated in my own skin. I was looking to serve alongside people who truly care about the poor and the marginalized and are doing great things for them. I’m grateful to be with people who build me up, hold me accountable lovingly, and expect excellence from me at all times. And I got tired of the critics saying that Black women can’t lead, Black women don’t get along, Black women aren’t good enough, and the like. So I had to support this organization. I’m here, we’re here, to prove all the haters wrong, serve our community, and build a coalition, all while wearing a dress, heels, and a smile.

Join us at the Black Women’s Empowerment Brunch Saturday July 20 from 11a – 1p at Rocketown in Nashville, TN.

Honorees:

Pioneer in Politics: Johnnie Turner – Retired TN State Representative and Civil Rights Leader

Unsung She-ro: Freda Player – Senior Legislative Advisor, Office of the Mayor of Nashville

Live Music by: Jason Eskridge and Band

Spoken Word Performance by: Tia Smedley

Live Performance by: Sankofa African Dance and Drumming Co.

Hosted by: Sissy Brown, 92Q Radio DJ

Event Production by: Phoenix Forrester Events

Keynote Speaker: Kristen Clarke, JD, President and Executive Director of the Committee for Civil Rights Under Law

from the bottom of my heart thank you Charlane Oliver and Tequila Johnson

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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie, instagram @carjiescott, and facebook at Dr. Carjie Scott.