Tag: relationships

Humans, Lessons

Nobody’s Relationship Should Be Your Relationship Goals

by Carjamin Scott on March 6, 2019, at 4:05 a.m. CST

It’s 4:00 am and I’m having trouble sleeping. I look to my left and my husband is knocked out cold, I hear the sound of the heater and the rattle of the wind. I’m thinking about next week, our singles mixer, and trying to picture the event in my mind.

What will people expect? Since I was able to feature a ton of women, will that attract some men to come out? What kind of music will they play that night?

I hope that the singles mix and mingle is worth it. If nothing else, I hope that new networks and friendships begin. I hope the attendees recognize that this is their time to meet new people while celebrating their singleness.

I’m thinking about all of the comments I’ve received from singles saying, “Y’all are goals,” “I can’t wait to get married,” or “I’m tired of being single.” I’m thinking that I need to make sure they know the truth.

Marriage is definitely worthwhile and I’m grateful for mine. However, the truth is marriage isn’t glamorous. It is not a prize or an accomplishment. It’s literally a commitment to love someone in spite of differences, flaws, and broken promises. It is accepting someone as they are even when they don’t deserve it.

The best advice I can give a person wishing to no longer be single is to love yourself and recognize your value. Because marriage is work, and everyone’s relationship is different.

That’s what being single is all about, right? It is the best practice for marriage. It is being committed to yourself, learning from mistakes, forgiving yourself, healing, and growth. I mean, if you are unable to love yourself fully, how can you honestly love someone else, right? Perhaps, but that’s easier said than done.

If you get nothing else from this 4:00 am rant, please understand that your future partner isn’t going to rescue you from yourself. The same struggles, fears, and anxieties you had before you got married will resurface.

The only difference is you have someone witnessing it all. Hopefully that person is encouraging you, helping you get through your issues, and instructing you to get expert assistance when needed.

So when people say, “couple goals” or “relationship goals,” I’m going to continue to respond “nobody’s relationship should be your relationship goals.” It’s not a jab at my marriage because I think I have a great one; but, it’s an honest response to a compliment that no one deserves.

Until then, love yourself and love one another. I hope to see you at Minerva next week.

—

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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie.

Education

Healthy and Free Tennessee’s Youth Leadership Council Paid Internship

Submitted by Healthy and Free Tennessee August 10, 2018, at 4:32 p.m. CST

Healthy and Free Tennessee’s Youth Leadership Council Paid Internship

Healthy and Free Tennessee has a paid intern partnership opportunity for college students between the ages of 18-24 to serve a one year term on the council and be a key partner of HFTN’s ongoing organizing, advocacy, and culture change work across the state.

The goals of Healthy and Free Tennessee’s Youth Leadership Council are to:

  1. Mobilize young people to end the culture of shame and stigma that people are made to feel about sexual and reproductive health issues that intersect with abortion access including sex education, HIV decriminalization, pregnancy and birthing options, LGBT identity and work toward building a culture of empathy and support

  2. Create a space where young people feel comfortable coming forward and sharing their experiences with abortion access and other reproductive health issues, which can include pregnancy and parenting, sex education HIV status, LGBT identity, in their communities and on campuses

  3. Increase public awareness and support of abortion access, pregnancy and parenting options, sex education, HIV, LGBT identity as well as other sexual and reproductive health issues

  4. Educate the media on issues related to sexual and reproductive health

  5. Advocate for policies that promote access to reproductive freedom and bodily autonomy on a local and national level, which can include abortion access, sex education, pregnancy and parenting options, HIV Decriminalization, and LGBT equality

Requirements:

Healthy and Free Tennessee Youth Leadership Council members must demonstrate the interest, capacity, and resources to organize strategic, meaningful campaign actions on their college campuses or within their communities.

Applicants interested in becoming a member of Healthy and Free TN’s Youth Leadership Council must:

  • Commit to a year (Fall 2018-Summer 2019) of leadership on the council

  • Be familiar with the principles of organizing or willing to learn and further develop organizing skills

  • Be willing to use and strengthen communication skills. This includes speaking to groups, the media, and community members; additionally, writing, blogging and utilizing social media

  • Be available for monthly group check-ins and bi-weekly individual check-ins

  • Be able to coordinate events on campus and in the greater community about abortion access and other reproductive health issues

  • Have a strong framework and analysis of power, privilege, and oppression and the willingness to further understand the intersections of reproductive rights and sexual health

Healthy and Free Tennessee Mission

The mission of Healthy and Free Tennessee is to provide access, “for Tennesseans to truly determine our own reproductive and sexual lives on our terms, we need full access to local, affordable, safe, timely, and affirming healthcare and providers. We need comprehensive education about sex, sexuality, and reproduction. We need universal health insurance that covers the full range of reproductive and sexual healthcare needs. We need social and cultural spaces that affirm our choices rather than shame and stigmatize them,” as mentioned on the HFT website.

We need comprehensive education about sex, sexuality, and reproduction. We need universal health insurance that covers the full range of reproductive and sexual healthcare needs. We need social and cultural spaces that affirm our choices rather than shame and stigmatize them.

If you’re interested in working with the council or want to help support the youth council in any way please contact Briana Perry at briana@healthyandfreetn.org.

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Carjamin Scott can be reached at carjamin.scott@gmail.com and you can follow her on twitter @scottcarjie.